1. Know Yourself
Know who you are. Discover who you are. Go out in nature and reflect on yourself. Know where you've been and where you're going. Know your goals and dreams. Know your hopes and fears. Keep journals.
2. Know Your Craft
Study and learn the Craft. Don't just read one book and call yourself an expert. Take courses, learn from others, read many books. Learn as many points of view as you can, so that you can form your own opinions. It would also be a great idea to attend public rituals to learn how others practice. Maybe they will have ideas and knowledge you haven't thought of. Maybe you can exchange ideas.
3. Learn
You never stop learning. Read as many books from as many points of view as possible. Ask other Wiccans questions. Don't just learn about Wicca and Witchcraft. Learn about other religions, history, or anything that might interest you.
4. Apply Knowledge With Wisdom
As you learn, the best way to solidify the knowledge in your head is to apply it. Always think before anything you do. That way you can be sure you're doing the right thing.
5. Achieve Balance
Too much of one thing is never a good thing. You should strive to achieve a balance between all things. For instance, you have home and family, but you also have a career, and you have your spiritual path, among other things. If you spend too much time in one area, then the other areas will be neglected. In my opinion, this is one of the harder goals to achieve because it's difficult to keep everything in life balanced.
6. Keep Your Thoughts in Good Order
This goal can be taken a couple different ways. Everyone knows about the law of attraction and the famous quote, "Thoughts are things." What you think is usually manifest somehow in the world. If you think nasty things all the time, if you think how bad your life is, then things will continue to not go as well for you. However, if you think positively, then things will start to look up for you. Also, don't think of others badly. If you think of other people badly, then people will not want to be around you, because it can be sensed subconsciously by others.
7. Keep Your Words in Good Order
This goal is similar to number 6. It's better to speak positively for the same reasons. You want people to be happy when you enter a room, not happy when you leave. Others flock to positive people. Also, if you encourage someone, or say nice things to them, it will often make their day. You don't know if they were having a bad day and really needed a pick-me-up.
8. Celebrate Life
Live in the moment. Live every moment. Stop to smell the roses, so to speak. Don't get caught up in the hustle and bustle of every day life. Stop to enjoy it. Take a long nature walk and listen to the animals and the breeze in the trees. Spend time with your loved ones. Do things that you always wanted to do. Don't waste your life sitting around complaining and not enjoying your time here.
9. Attune With the Cycles of the Earth
This is very important. We celebrate Sabbats that are based on these cycles. The reason why we celebrate them at certain times because they all fall on turning points in our year. If you track all the Sabbats and Esbats in one year, and you note the important things you notice in the world around you, especially the natural world, then you will see how the cycles work.
10. Breathe and Eat Correctly
We should eat healthy and breathe the way we're meant to breathe. Too many people eat junk food and fast food. While that's occasionally ok, it's not healthy. And if you're body isn't healthy, it starts to break down and as you get older, you will have problems. As for breathing, most people don't breathe properly. Most people breathe very shallow. You don't take in nearly as much oxygen as you need. You should be breathing deeper, and not just when in Yoga class.
11. Exercise the Body
This is another thing that keeps your body healthy. Regular exercise. Don't be lazy and sit in front of the TV all day. I don't understand how a witch would do that, while following a nature spirituality. You don't have to run marathons, but if you go outside and walk once a day, it's very good for you. As witches, we should try to go out for walks several times a week, and be out in nature. Even if you live in a city, there's still nature around you. I'm glad I live away from the city. I have woods and animals - all kinds of nature.
12. Meditate
Meditation is difficult for many people. In this day and age, the mind is always running. It's hard to still the thoughts. Meditation is great for many things. It's a way to connect with the Goddess or God. It's a way to visualize a place that calms you. It's a way to forget about your daily stresses. People who meditate are often happier because they have learned to let go of the stress. It's advisable to meditate for at least 10 minutes each day.
13. Honour the Goddess and the God
This is an important goal. If you follow a religion, you really should honour your deity or deities. Otherwise, what's the point? It's important to establish a relationship with them. It helps you to become a better person. If you don't know your deity, then why are you a part of your religion? Honouring them should be done every day, not just at Sabbats and Esbats. You don't have to sit down and do daily devotions. If you help someone in need, you are honouring deity. If you pick up litter, you are honouring deity. If you give thanks or say what you're grateful for, you are honouring deity.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Know Why You Believe What You Believe
As some people may know, I'm a Wiccan. I once heard a wise man say, "Know why you believe what you believe." Everyone has a different path. What's right for me, may not be right for you, and vice versa.
I would like to explain why I chose Wicca. It's not because it's cool or a fad, or because of a TV show. I thought long and hard and did a ton of research before committing myself to this path.
Wicca is a nature religion. I respect the Earth. I always felt drawn to nature.
Most Wiccans follow the Rede: An' it harm none, do as thou wilt. That seems to say it all, doesn't it? I find that I have been thinking long and hard about everything I do, because I also believe that whatever I do comes back to me threefold.
I like how open-minded most Wiccans are. The religion doesn't discriminate against gender, race, sexual orientation, or even other religions. I felt welcome, just as I am.
I like the idea of having a Goddess and a God. I don't like the patriarchy of other religions. It feels like there's something missing. There's no balance without having the female aspect. Balance is very important.
I love that I can practice solitary. My relationship with the Goddess and God is a personal one and sometimes I find it easier on my own. Other times, it's good to practice in a coven.
I'll admit, I also enjoy the magick that I do, but the religion side of Wicca has always been more important to me.
I will admit I came from a Christian background. I didn't go to church often because it never felt right to me. A lot of things didn't make sense. It may be fine for someone who believes in those things, but it just wasn't for me. One thing I never understood is the concept of sin. I thought it was pessimistic to always think of myself as a sinner. And it always seemed like I was doing something wrong...and that made me more of a sinner.
I hope I'm not offending anyone. I'm just being honest about my beliefs and why I chose this religious path. There are a lot of people who follow a religion because of their parents, or because the religion seems cool, or any number of reasons. All I say is that before you believe something, know why you believe in it. And please don't force your beliefs on others. Everyone is entitled to their own belief system. I don't know why the world can't be more accepting. I know there are a lot of stereotypes out there about Wicca and other Pagan religions. I won't get into that here.
The best part about being a Wiccan, is that ever since I found this path several years ago, it has helped me learn and grow into a better person. Isn't that what religion and spirituality is all about? It doesn't matter what your path is, whether you're Wiccan, Druid, Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Islamic, or even Athiest...or any of the other countless religions out there. As long as you know why you believe what you believe, and are happy, then that's all that matters.
Well, I hope you enjoyed my note. Blessed be!
I would like to explain why I chose Wicca. It's not because it's cool or a fad, or because of a TV show. I thought long and hard and did a ton of research before committing myself to this path.
Wicca is a nature religion. I respect the Earth. I always felt drawn to nature.
Most Wiccans follow the Rede: An' it harm none, do as thou wilt. That seems to say it all, doesn't it? I find that I have been thinking long and hard about everything I do, because I also believe that whatever I do comes back to me threefold.
I like how open-minded most Wiccans are. The religion doesn't discriminate against gender, race, sexual orientation, or even other religions. I felt welcome, just as I am.
I like the idea of having a Goddess and a God. I don't like the patriarchy of other religions. It feels like there's something missing. There's no balance without having the female aspect. Balance is very important.
I love that I can practice solitary. My relationship with the Goddess and God is a personal one and sometimes I find it easier on my own. Other times, it's good to practice in a coven.
I'll admit, I also enjoy the magick that I do, but the religion side of Wicca has always been more important to me.
I will admit I came from a Christian background. I didn't go to church often because it never felt right to me. A lot of things didn't make sense. It may be fine for someone who believes in those things, but it just wasn't for me. One thing I never understood is the concept of sin. I thought it was pessimistic to always think of myself as a sinner. And it always seemed like I was doing something wrong...and that made me more of a sinner.
I hope I'm not offending anyone. I'm just being honest about my beliefs and why I chose this religious path. There are a lot of people who follow a religion because of their parents, or because the religion seems cool, or any number of reasons. All I say is that before you believe something, know why you believe in it. And please don't force your beliefs on others. Everyone is entitled to their own belief system. I don't know why the world can't be more accepting. I know there are a lot of stereotypes out there about Wicca and other Pagan religions. I won't get into that here.
The best part about being a Wiccan, is that ever since I found this path several years ago, it has helped me learn and grow into a better person. Isn't that what religion and spirituality is all about? It doesn't matter what your path is, whether you're Wiccan, Druid, Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Islamic, or even Athiest...or any of the other countless religions out there. As long as you know why you believe what you believe, and are happy, then that's all that matters.
Well, I hope you enjoyed my note. Blessed be!
The Burning Times Are Upon Us
I am saddened. I thought the Burning Times were long gone. The Burning Times were a period in history when people were accused of witchcraft, and then burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured until death. Most of the people accused weren't even witches. A lot of them were just healers, or midwives, or even just old and lonely women. It happened because the Christians of the day wanted everyone to follow their religion, and anyone who didn't must be following Satan, which wasn't true.
Today, the persecutions continue. Pagans are losing jobs and their children because of their beliefs. This isn't back in the 1600s. This is as little as a month ago. Some people are losing their homes, or being kicked out of school. There has been one girl, about thirteen, who committed suicide because of all the teasing and bullying at school. There's really no need of that. There's also a case right now in Nigeria, where children - CHILDREN! are being hurt. Their eyes are being burned with dangerous liquids. Their heads are being bashed with two by fours. The parents of these children are taking them to a preacher who does all these things to them. And the parents sit by and watch, believing that the devil is being beaten out of them, quite literally. What scares me is that this isn't the middle ages. This is today, and it's only getting worse.
Why can't people live and let live? Why must they force everyone to be the same? I found the path to follow that is right for me. I'm not going to be threatened into conversion. I'm often told that if I don't convert, I will go to hell. That's a threat. I'd rather find a path that works for me. A path that allows me to fix this life of mine. I have a lot of problems, and I'm going through a dark period of my life. I don't know how long this will last. But I'm hoping that my spirituality will help pull me out of this and get on with my life.
I'm scared that I will one day be persecuted for my beliefs. I'm afraid that I will be hurt, or the people around me, just because I have different beliefs and a different way of life. I don't care what other people believe. Why should anyone else care? Let's all just live and let live.
I want to give a special thank you to my family and friends for accepting that I am a Pagan. I know there are a few of you that had to learn to accept it, but the fact that you eventually got there, I appreciate it.
Today, the persecutions continue. Pagans are losing jobs and their children because of their beliefs. This isn't back in the 1600s. This is as little as a month ago. Some people are losing their homes, or being kicked out of school. There has been one girl, about thirteen, who committed suicide because of all the teasing and bullying at school. There's really no need of that. There's also a case right now in Nigeria, where children - CHILDREN! are being hurt. Their eyes are being burned with dangerous liquids. Their heads are being bashed with two by fours. The parents of these children are taking them to a preacher who does all these things to them. And the parents sit by and watch, believing that the devil is being beaten out of them, quite literally. What scares me is that this isn't the middle ages. This is today, and it's only getting worse.
Why can't people live and let live? Why must they force everyone to be the same? I found the path to follow that is right for me. I'm not going to be threatened into conversion. I'm often told that if I don't convert, I will go to hell. That's a threat. I'd rather find a path that works for me. A path that allows me to fix this life of mine. I have a lot of problems, and I'm going through a dark period of my life. I don't know how long this will last. But I'm hoping that my spirituality will help pull me out of this and get on with my life.
I'm scared that I will one day be persecuted for my beliefs. I'm afraid that I will be hurt, or the people around me, just because I have different beliefs and a different way of life. I don't care what other people believe. Why should anyone else care? Let's all just live and let live.
I want to give a special thank you to my family and friends for accepting that I am a Pagan. I know there are a few of you that had to learn to accept it, but the fact that you eventually got there, I appreciate it.
It's That Time of Year Again...
***this has been in my private files since December 17, 2008; only now have I posted it on my blog***
As everyone knows, that time of year is upon us. It's a time of family, a time of good times, and a time of...religion? Wait a second. I live in a society that largely celebrates Christmas. However, I noticed that the other special days are forgotten. Christmas is not the only thing celebrated this time of year. There's also Hannukah, Kwanzaa, and many other festivals most people have never heard of. Then there's Yule.
Yule is what I celebrate, as a Pagan. It falls on the winter solstice each year, around December 21. For me, it is the rebirth of the Sun God from the Mother Goddess. To people who aren't familiar with Paganism, that may seem strange, but to me, that is my belief. A lot of what we do on Yule is similar to Christmas. We still exchange gifts and cards, we decorate trees, we sing carols, we have religious ceremonies. Actually, most of those traditions originally come from Paganism, but most people don't know that.
I don't mean to offend people, but when I say I don't celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday, some people do tend to not take it so well. They ask me how I could possibly not see how 'Jesus is the reason for the season'. I just say that I don't follow Christianity. I have my own religious observances and beliefs. Unfortunately, some people can't take that as an answer. Then I'm given the whole spiel about how I'm going to hell because I haven't accepted Jesus as my lord and saviour. Add a few bible quotes into the mix and a very uncomfortable situation is created.
I don't get offended when someone wishes me a Merry Christmas. However, I do get offended when someone tells me my religious beliefs-something I hold very dear to my heart-are wrong. There are people who don't understand that there are so many belief systems that how could only one be right? Then I'm told that the bible says Jesus is the only way to God. But what they don't realize is that the bible only applies to Christians who follow that faith.
All I'm asking during this holiday season is that you remember everyone. Don't get offended when someone wishes you a Blessed Yule, Happy Hannukah, or Merry Christmas. Smile, and offer your own best wishes in return.
We live in the best country in the world: CANADA. One thing that makes me proud to be Canadian is our freedom. There are so many things we take for granted. Our freedom is one of those things. Many countries don't have the same freedom we do. Please keep in mind that everyone has the right to follow whatever religion they choose, and believe what they believe, and celebrate what religious holidays they observe. Why don't we all just live and let live? Remember what the holiday season is all about. It's about acceptance. And spending time with those you love.
So, to those who are reading this that are Christian, I wish you a Merry Christmas. To any Jewish readers, Happy Hannukah. And to my fellow Wiccans and Pagans, Blessed Yule. And to all a good night.
As everyone knows, that time of year is upon us. It's a time of family, a time of good times, and a time of...religion? Wait a second. I live in a society that largely celebrates Christmas. However, I noticed that the other special days are forgotten. Christmas is not the only thing celebrated this time of year. There's also Hannukah, Kwanzaa, and many other festivals most people have never heard of. Then there's Yule.
Yule is what I celebrate, as a Pagan. It falls on the winter solstice each year, around December 21. For me, it is the rebirth of the Sun God from the Mother Goddess. To people who aren't familiar with Paganism, that may seem strange, but to me, that is my belief. A lot of what we do on Yule is similar to Christmas. We still exchange gifts and cards, we decorate trees, we sing carols, we have religious ceremonies. Actually, most of those traditions originally come from Paganism, but most people don't know that.
I don't mean to offend people, but when I say I don't celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday, some people do tend to not take it so well. They ask me how I could possibly not see how 'Jesus is the reason for the season'. I just say that I don't follow Christianity. I have my own religious observances and beliefs. Unfortunately, some people can't take that as an answer. Then I'm given the whole spiel about how I'm going to hell because I haven't accepted Jesus as my lord and saviour. Add a few bible quotes into the mix and a very uncomfortable situation is created.
I don't get offended when someone wishes me a Merry Christmas. However, I do get offended when someone tells me my religious beliefs-something I hold very dear to my heart-are wrong. There are people who don't understand that there are so many belief systems that how could only one be right? Then I'm told that the bible says Jesus is the only way to God. But what they don't realize is that the bible only applies to Christians who follow that faith.
All I'm asking during this holiday season is that you remember everyone. Don't get offended when someone wishes you a Blessed Yule, Happy Hannukah, or Merry Christmas. Smile, and offer your own best wishes in return.
We live in the best country in the world: CANADA. One thing that makes me proud to be Canadian is our freedom. There are so many things we take for granted. Our freedom is one of those things. Many countries don't have the same freedom we do. Please keep in mind that everyone has the right to follow whatever religion they choose, and believe what they believe, and celebrate what religious holidays they observe. Why don't we all just live and let live? Remember what the holiday season is all about. It's about acceptance. And spending time with those you love.
So, to those who are reading this that are Christian, I wish you a Merry Christmas. To any Jewish readers, Happy Hannukah. And to my fellow Wiccans and Pagans, Blessed Yule. And to all a good night.
Life
Life is precious. One minute you can be sitting on top of the world, and the next minute, barely clinging to it. No one knows what's going to happen. No one knows how long we have.
There were three recent deaths in the family, and each one upset me. I understand and accept death, but it's still hard facing the fact that I will never be able to see them again. I have so many memories flowing through my mind. Suddenly I realize I'm smiling. I would rather remember them in life than in death. I would rather have all the good memories to hold onto.
Over the past few weeks, I thought long and hard about life. Life is too short to be wasted. Everyone has a chance to be alive, but not everyone really lives. Carpe Diem: Seize the day. Live life the way it's meant to be lived.
Say I'm Sorry for those stupid grudges you held for so long...
Say I Love You to all those people in your life, even if you're too stubborn to admit it...
Take those risks that you wanted to take...
Do all the things you would like to do before you die...
It's like the song says:
We're here for a good time, not a long time,
So have a good time,
The sun can't shine every day.
I have made many mistakes in my life. I have many regrets. But I want to move forward. I have become discouraged over my new life in Alberta. Then I realized that if I don't focus, then my life will pass by, and I'll be wondering 'What If?' What if I were to give it my all and everything would work out? What if I jumped the hurdles to overcome my shortcomings and went on to succeed? What if?
One regret I have is not telling the people in my life just what they mean to me. Sometimes I'm too stubborn to admit it. But who knows when their time will come? Who knows when my time will come? Who knows when it will be too late to say, 'I love you'?
I'm not very good with words - as most of you know I can be a very quiet person. I think I'm better with words when I write them down. I just want to say 'I Love You' to all four of my parents, my six siblings, my countless aunts and uncles and cousins, my grandparents that are still alive, and all the animals that are in my life. I love you all. But a special 'I Love You' goes to the person that means more to me than anything in this world, Steve H. Steve, you were there for me when I needed you the most. I love you more than you'll ever know.
It's never too late to tell a person how you feel. You never know how soon the time will come when you'll never have another chance.
This note is dedicated to Opa, Geri, and Sylvia. I love you and miss you.
There were three recent deaths in the family, and each one upset me. I understand and accept death, but it's still hard facing the fact that I will never be able to see them again. I have so many memories flowing through my mind. Suddenly I realize I'm smiling. I would rather remember them in life than in death. I would rather have all the good memories to hold onto.
Over the past few weeks, I thought long and hard about life. Life is too short to be wasted. Everyone has a chance to be alive, but not everyone really lives. Carpe Diem: Seize the day. Live life the way it's meant to be lived.
Say I'm Sorry for those stupid grudges you held for so long...
Say I Love You to all those people in your life, even if you're too stubborn to admit it...
Take those risks that you wanted to take...
Do all the things you would like to do before you die...
It's like the song says:
We're here for a good time, not a long time,
So have a good time,
The sun can't shine every day.
I have made many mistakes in my life. I have many regrets. But I want to move forward. I have become discouraged over my new life in Alberta. Then I realized that if I don't focus, then my life will pass by, and I'll be wondering 'What If?' What if I were to give it my all and everything would work out? What if I jumped the hurdles to overcome my shortcomings and went on to succeed? What if?
One regret I have is not telling the people in my life just what they mean to me. Sometimes I'm too stubborn to admit it. But who knows when their time will come? Who knows when my time will come? Who knows when it will be too late to say, 'I love you'?
I'm not very good with words - as most of you know I can be a very quiet person. I think I'm better with words when I write them down. I just want to say 'I Love You' to all four of my parents, my six siblings, my countless aunts and uncles and cousins, my grandparents that are still alive, and all the animals that are in my life. I love you all. But a special 'I Love You' goes to the person that means more to me than anything in this world, Steve H. Steve, you were there for me when I needed you the most. I love you more than you'll ever know.
It's never too late to tell a person how you feel. You never know how soon the time will come when you'll never have another chance.
This note is dedicated to Opa, Geri, and Sylvia. I love you and miss you.
Time for Something Positive...
I don't know if anyone even bothers to read my notes. I realized just how depressing my last note was. I guess I was just really upset. Now I want to try something a little more positive. Ironically, I have what I call a Positivity Journal. It's not like my regular journal. My regular journal has my daily happenings, and thoughts, whether good or bad. With my positivity journal, I am required to think of one positive thing that happened every day, or something positive I thought about. I started off the journal with what I'm grateful for. Here's some of my list:
I Am Grateful For...
My wonderful boyfriend Steve
My cat Shadow
My tarantula Arachnia
My spirituality
My family
My health
My country
My travels
My love for animals
If anyone reads this note of mine, I encourage you to think about what you're grateful for. And never forget, like I did earlier. Thanks for reading.
I Am Grateful For...
My wonderful boyfriend Steve
My cat Shadow
My tarantula Arachnia
My spirituality
My family
My health
My country
My travels
My love for animals
If anyone reads this note of mine, I encourage you to think about what you're grateful for. And never forget, like I did earlier. Thanks for reading.
Lost
Lost. That's how I feel right now. Completely lost. I don't know where I am, I don't know who I am. I thought everything was going great, and then it was turned around, and I don't even know why.I was so positive about my future. I enjoyed my learning experience in Alberta. After a relaxing trip out to the lake, I was ready to face a new week with new challenges.
On Monday, I noticed no one was talking to me unless absolutely necessary, and when they did they were very rude. I didn't know what was going on. I tried to be positive and do what I could to turn things around. But that's hard when you don't know what's going on.
Then I walked into work the next day, and before I knew what was going on, I was handed a plane ticket and a paycheck minus the cost of the ticket. I wasn't given much of an explanation. They accused me of not caring and said I wasn't learning. They also said that no one wanted to work with me, and that included them, my bosses. I did my best, and I still failed. I don't know what I did wrong. They didn't give me a chance to fix whatever it was. They didn't confront me about the problem. Instead, they sent me away.
I had such high hopes, and I was positive. I really wanted to make this work. Now my dreams have been shattered. I did my best and I still failed.
I don't know what to do. I feel...lost. I have nothing to shoot for anymore. How can two people control my future? They laughed as my heart was breaking. They didn't even tell me what I was doing wrong. They just wanted me gone as soon as possible.
I had only ten hours before my plane took off. I didn't want to leave Steve because he means a lot to me and I would miss him terribly. They told me he was the future and I was not. I had no choice but to leave. I don't even know what I did wrong. All I know is that over the past month or so, they treated me like I was nothing. Yet I STILL cared about the job and the company. I STILL did my best. But it wasn't good enough. Oh, I could have stopped caring, but I knew that if I did, I would be sent home. But I was sent home anyway. They didn't even give me a chance to rebut any of their issues with me. They went and bought the ticket with my paycheck before I knew any of this.
How dare they take away my dreams? I feel helpless. I don't know what to do. The carpet has been pulled from under my feet and I'm still trying to regain my balance. I'm home now, and as much support as I have, I still feel alone. So alone. I have no dreams. And worst of all, I have no Steve. He's on the other side of the country when I need him the most.
This whole situation is heartbreaking. And now I am left with this feeling of being...LOST.
On Monday, I noticed no one was talking to me unless absolutely necessary, and when they did they were very rude. I didn't know what was going on. I tried to be positive and do what I could to turn things around. But that's hard when you don't know what's going on.
Then I walked into work the next day, and before I knew what was going on, I was handed a plane ticket and a paycheck minus the cost of the ticket. I wasn't given much of an explanation. They accused me of not caring and said I wasn't learning. They also said that no one wanted to work with me, and that included them, my bosses. I did my best, and I still failed. I don't know what I did wrong. They didn't give me a chance to fix whatever it was. They didn't confront me about the problem. Instead, they sent me away.
I had such high hopes, and I was positive. I really wanted to make this work. Now my dreams have been shattered. I did my best and I still failed.
I don't know what to do. I feel...lost. I have nothing to shoot for anymore. How can two people control my future? They laughed as my heart was breaking. They didn't even tell me what I was doing wrong. They just wanted me gone as soon as possible.
I had only ten hours before my plane took off. I didn't want to leave Steve because he means a lot to me and I would miss him terribly. They told me he was the future and I was not. I had no choice but to leave. I don't even know what I did wrong. All I know is that over the past month or so, they treated me like I was nothing. Yet I STILL cared about the job and the company. I STILL did my best. But it wasn't good enough. Oh, I could have stopped caring, but I knew that if I did, I would be sent home. But I was sent home anyway. They didn't even give me a chance to rebut any of their issues with me. They went and bought the ticket with my paycheck before I knew any of this.
How dare they take away my dreams? I feel helpless. I don't know what to do. The carpet has been pulled from under my feet and I'm still trying to regain my balance. I'm home now, and as much support as I have, I still feel alone. So alone. I have no dreams. And worst of all, I have no Steve. He's on the other side of the country when I need him the most.
This whole situation is heartbreaking. And now I am left with this feeling of being...LOST.
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